Greetings Friends and Loved Ones,
It’s been one heck of a year for our family! So many achievements and accomplishments, it’s hard to know where to start, or end. The twins, Kale and Broc (short for Broccoli Rabe), were so busy translating Harry Potter into Latin, that they almost forgot to prepare for the National Science Fair! Luckily, at the last minute they pulled together a prototype for diffusing a nuclear bomb and won handily. They are currently composing their first concerto. It’s hard to believe they are only eight! They sure keep Mom on her toes.
Speaking of toes, our beautiful daughter, Montage, was invited to join the Bolshoi Ballet. We turned it down because she is so busy with her commercials, modeling, and acting career. Watch out Lindsay Lohan! We joke that our sweet little “Monty” is 15 going on 25! Luckily she is still a bookworm at heart, maintaining an A+ average.
We are still waiting for baby “Itsy” to decide on a name. We are a little afraid “Itsy” might just stick as we approach our “baby’s” third birthday. We have done such a great job remaining gender neutral with our youngest, and have put no labels on baby “Itsy” so far. Not only will this amazing child be allowed to name itself, but it will be given the gift to determine its gender identity in a completely neutral and unbiased atmosphere. My husband and I congratulate ourselves every day, and hope to set a shining example for others. That’s why we hired a film crew to chronicle every moment of “Itsy’s” life from birth through the present. We’ve been shopping this amazing reality TV show, but just haven’t found the right deal. Let’s just say we are “in talks” and watch for big news in the New Year! By the way, “Itsy” is already our little athlete; soccer, lacrosse, baseball, figure skating, and trapeze!
As for Mom, between working with a “Genius Coach” to help me cope with raising such gifted geniuses, all of my charity work, redecorating our home, which I like to do every other year to keep things gleaming, and honing my gourmet chef skills, I rarely have a moment of respite. Anyone lucky enough to attend our holiday party knows that I go hog wild with my seasonal decorations. Fortunately I only need three hours of sleep a night. As for “Big Daddy”, he’s busy buying, selling, and starting companies, training for the Iron Man, attending all the kids’ sporting events and performances, and being the biggest Husky Football and Seahawks Fan ever!
We would like to wish you a joyous holiday, and peace in the New Year. Sorry for the impersonal letter, but I’m sure you’re just dying to know what’s going on with our family, and you couldn’t possibly have kept up with all the press we receive. Please remember the true meaning of this most joyous of all seasons, and the purest, most resplendent gift of all that God created, and selflessly bestowed upon mankind— gold Rolexes. I know someone who’s been a really good girl this year, and has one waiting under the tree!
The Achiever Family